


Foolish Heart

by Tarlan



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: M/M, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-17
Updated: 2013-05-17
Packaged: 2017-12-12 08:36:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Sara's marriage to Gil is over, Nick takes his own chance on finding happiness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foolish Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Written for: **mmom** 2013 - Day 17

Nick knew he ought to feel sorry for Sara over the break up of her marriage to Grissom, but he couldn't. He said all the right words, offered platitudes and commiserated with her but inside he felt slightly vindicated because he had loved Gil too. Perhaps, as with Sara, it had started as a stupid crush over the slightly older man - a teacher and colleague - but just like with Sara, it hadn't diminished over time.

He remembered moments from the past, recalling that time he was buried alive and being attacked by fire ants. Gil had found him, and though everyone would like to believe that it was the stupid childhood name that had got through his panic, in truth it was Gil's voice penetrating the fog of pain. He'd placed his hand on the glass beneath Gil's and let go of his fear. He trusted Gil. He trusted him with his life and with his sanity, and when they pulled him from his intended grave, it was Gil's hand that he clung to until they loaded him up into the ambulance that took him away.

Perhaps he should have said something then, but Sara had acted first and Gil had needed someone to love. Over the years, he couldn't help but believe that it should have been him though, if only he'd had not felt so foolish and found the courage to speak up first.

He had lost count of the number of times he had fantasized about it being him in Gil's arms instead of Sara, imagining it was Gil's hand on him, Gil's kiss, and his name spilling from Gil's lips when he came.

Nick stopped and took a deep breath outside the rundown hotel in a small village just south of the Mexican border in Guatemala. He'd learned from a friend that Gil had moved here after the divorce from Sara, to study the local insects. In his pocket he had enough money to take the bus back to Tapachula and a direct flight to Las Vegas, but he hoped he wouldn't need it. He stepped inside and moved to the small bar area, smiling when he saw Gil at a table, oblivious to everything around him as he studied several jars set on the table in front of him.

Nick pulled out a chair and sat down opposite, smile widening when Gil looked up in surprise.

"Nicky! What brings you all the way out here?"

Leaning over the small table, Nick pressed his lips against Gil's and sat back, watching Gil's stunned expression.

"It should have been me," Nick said softly.

A sad smile graced Gil's face and Nick waited for the words that would set him free - one way or another. Gil pushed up from his seat and pulled Nick up, staring intently into his eyes in fascination as if Nick was one of his precious bugs. The soft press of lips stunned Nick.

"Yes. It should have been you."

END


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